SEXY AF Spring Wine Pairings

I don’t know if you realize this, but you are HELLA sexy. Like, your come-hither vibes are emanating off you like waves of heat off of black asphalt on a sunny day. Like those naughty pollen-heavy stamens beckoning to a bee. Like bacon grease spitting out of a pan and burning your hand, but you keep coming back for more.

WE WANT MORE. You are a stunner. Sitting there scrolling through your phone as you stand in line at Trader Joe’s check out, a cart filled with ALL the frozen snacks.

You are a hottie. Hunched over your laptop in sweatpants and a topknot, still in bed at 3 PM, no judgment.

You are a 10 out of 10. Perusing the ‘gram instead of replying to that work email, because hello, it’s the weekend, even if your plans are the same as they were the past 55 weeks. i.e. Netflix.

But, it’s happening. You are throwing some fresh fruit into your shopping cart. You’re looking up cute summer dresses online. You’re following NASTY WOMAN WINE on Insta, along with a peculiarly large number of roller skating phenoms, as it turns out to be the hobby of the Q-tine.

So, let’s transition from slightly grumpy, super cozy, definitely introverted ‘Winter You’ into BACON HOT NASTY WOMAN READY FOR SPRING!!!  Sorry if we’re shouting, but we’re waking ourselves out of this Covid slumber. We’ve been in hibernation mode. And while we’re still rocking a mask and being safe, we are READY to GO OUT.

Top 5 activities that would benefit from a bottle of NASTY WOMAN WINE pairing:

  1. Strap on those newly purchased hot pink roller skates, turn up the volume on your party playlist, and hit the road. You’re only going to get so good watching those moves online. So, get rolling! Once you worked on your spins and practiced a moonwalk, sit down and take a sip of wine in celebration of doing something new and exciting.

  2. Scavenger hunt, flower edition. As you wander the ‘hood, take a photo of every single different bloom. At the end of your first week of spring-scented strolls, you can create a kaleidoscope of colorful blossoms. Post to the ‘gram, tag us and then pour yourself a glass of wine and toast to the artistic partnership of you and Mother Nature.

  3. Spread out that picnic blanket at a nearby park and let the bumblebees buzz around your heavenly spread of cheese, honey, crackers, and fruit. Bring a book you’ve been meaning to read. And of course, a bottle of NASTY WOMAN WINE. Hello, we are HERE for the picnics! And the likes, but also the picnics.

  4. Schedule a porch session with a buddy you haven’t connected with in a long time. You don’t need to be besties. Those casual conversations and little asides that were lost with a year of virtual interaction mean we need to step up our friend game. Don’t show up empty-handed. Bring a bottle of the good stuff to keep the conversation flowing.

  5. Strut your stuff. Animals mate in Spring for a reason. Our blood is pumping. We are alive! We look good. We feel good. Sandals and flip flops, spaghetti straps, and off-the-shoulder ruffles. Mini-skirts and maxi dresses. Shorts and sunglasses. As you peruse your wardrobe and get dolled up, enjoy a little glass of wine to keep it festive.

And this brings the number one pairing suggestion for NASTY WOMAN WINE: Confidence. I know that can be a hard ask. How does one pair wine with confidence, if one is lacking in that ingredient? NASTY WOMAN WINES are here for you.

First, watch this video. My god, we love it so much. https://www.instagram.com/p/CN5-I60BKR7/ and we want you to know YOU ARE SO SPECIAL. 

Next, realize YOU ARE ALREADY IN YOUR SUMMER BODY. That’s right. Throw out the damn window any antiquated notions that your body is anything other than. If you need a little help in this department, we understand. We are women raised in a culture that constantly fat-shames, slut-shames, and then sexualizes us while condemning us for it. UGH – shakes fist at sky.  

Unless you start upending the archaic rules, double standards, patriarchal system, and sexist construct. YUP. It’s Spring and we are *three-finger snaps * feeling it!

Google Health at Every Size if you don’t already know what is (HEAS). Recognize that the diet industry is a $71B machine that fails 95% of the time. Acknowledge that our fat-phobia is rooted in racism (https://bookshop.org/lists/unpacking-anti-fatness). Exactly. It’s all bullshit and you’re fricking GORGEOUS.

So, back to our favorite conversation topic - YOU BEING SEXY. Seeing you crack a bottle of our NASTY WOMAN WINE, pouring it into a glass, and then having a sip. It is MAKING US THIRSTY.

Guest User