Is Ally the new Woke?

Photo by Chelsi Peter

As pride month comes to an end, does anyone else feel uncomfortable calling themselves an ally? We are fully on the side of love, sex, and gender expression in all its forms. We just start to stutter when it comes to the word ally. It feels hollow.

When we call ourselves an ally, what exactly are we saying? What exactly IS an ally? How can we be one? Should we be one?!

Thanks to a quick Google, it literally means cooperating or helping someone on a particular issue. First hefted with greater frequency with the LGBTQ movement, it has become a label and is now used with a multitude of causes, most often with racial justice.

The Power of Labels

Like the safety pin fad that quickly faded, NASTY WOMAN WINES is concerned that the word ally has gone the way of the word woke. A word to be used as a label and a weapon, not as a signifier of action, change, or progress.

NASTY WOMAN WINES is very aware of the power of labels. It is why we constantly strive to highlight amazing, diverse women on our bottles of wine. We choose women of color, of different shapes, ethnicities, backgrounds, and sexual preferences. But we know that our wine isn’t just the label but the wine that goes into the bottle.

Maybe being an ally without doing the work is like abandoning your NASTY WOMAN WINES cart mid-way through paying. You're headed in the right direction but didn't see it through. LOL.

Kidding aside, perhaps that’s why the word is hollow. We don’t get to wear the label of ally if we’re not actively participating in allyship. We must repeatedly participate in behavior that supports the people we’re purporting to help. We have to do more than align our values – we need to both personally and publicly support these values visually and vocally.

Turning the Lens on Ourselves

We still have work to do; we’re always learning and that’s part of our responsibility as allies – to do the work.  Are we? Is it enough to make social media posts? Definitely not. And while our goal of getting more women to the table to make the decisions and have the power, we haven’t focused our efforts on ensuring those women are from marginalized communities.

So we get it. Being an ally isn’t just a label. It’s not something you wear or a sign you put in your yard – it is an act. Being an ally is being actively anti-racist. It’s being aligned with marginalized communities. It’s amplifying and supporting those oppressed by the racist, sexist, ableist, patriarchal, colonialist systems in place.

 As we turn the lens on ourselves and our actions (or lack thereof), it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. The only repeated behavior we participate in is staying up too late doom scrolling when we know have an early morning.

Aligning Activism and Feminism

BUT lightbulb moment. As we have said, again and again, feminism is for everyone. It’s okay to be selfish with your time and energy – it’s called healthy boundaries! Why can’t the same apply to activism? It's far too easy to let activism slip off the radar on our list of things 'to do'. Can we be an ally in a way that works for us and our daily, messy, busy lives?

If we apply what we believe about feminism to what we’re trying to understand with activism, then we’d like to think there are so many ways in which we can choose to make BLM, Pride, and other vital beliefs be a part of our lives.

We can show up for BIPOC and LGBTQ communities in a host of ways: through support, community, and friendship. Through education and teaching our children. Through listening and more and speaking less. Through vocal and visible activist events, like protests. Through mutual aids. Through governmental representation and voting. By supporting women-owned businesses and Buying Black.

Constantly, Consistently Choosing to BE an Ally

Let this quote by Ibram X. Kendi from How to Be an Antiracist guide us, “The good news is that racist and antiracist are not fixed identities. We can be a racist one minute and an antiracist the next. What we say about race, what we do about race, in each moment, determines what -- not who -- we are.” 

This great advice tells us it’s less about calling ourselves allies and more about BEING an ally. It’s more about what we do every day, every moment and minute, and less about the big, visible efforts. Forget the performance activism and the hashtags.

This is a reminder to both us and our wine-loving, multitasking, harried AF, beautiful friends that you can show up in more ways than a label. Unless it’s a wine label – buying NASTY WOMAN WINES is probably the most fun way to be an ally. But there are many more. Let’s pick the ones that we can incorporate into our life so that being an ally isn't a huge or overwhelming change. Let’s start being allies in our daily lives, with simple acts and conscious efforts to be better.